Mr. Bobbys World: Heart And Mind

Heart And Mind

The reason i created this blog was originally to help me get over the last biggest relationship i had and attempt to save myself. and i did. and now its where i go to really share me. who i am. what i love doing. This blog is me. The true me.

Blog-Life are simply the pages to your autobiography. ~ Mr. Bobby

Someone who fits me:

Smeone who makes me happy, who inspires me, who pushes me to be a better person, who excites me with new things constantly, someone who is looking for something in her life as well and I can return that same inspiration in whatever she likes. Someone who can make me laugh and gets my stupid jokes. Someone who has characteristics that colmpliment mine. She doesn't need to be pretty in anyones else's eyes because she will be perfect in mine. Someone who can relax with me by playing video games, reading a book or creating art. Someone who loves to cook with me and always wants to cooking different foods. Someone who likes to go out to different places and try new food. Someone who likes going to different types of venues, events, shows,. Someone who makes me want to dance not just stand around and drink.Someone who loves movies!!

Things i Say :|

"Communication is key to any good relationship: friendship, relationship, mother ship lol. if you have a problem say something, if your happy say something, if you miss someone say something. quite hours of just sitting there next to each other, no words no thoughts just distractions. Are you even friends or simply mannequins accompanying? human vibrators? momentary body pillows? Express yourself and be willing to listen to the others reaction with open ears. even telling the other person simply about your day. Don't remember that one in a long time. lol. What happens when there are years between you two? are you settling don't you deserve to feel happy? don't you deserve to feel..... and express those emotions or any emotions? sometimes just to share your emotions is a challenge. I don't know just thinking not about myself, not about anyone else, just about life. perhaps why i have honestly become a professional at doing things on my own. I do things i find fun, exciting, entertaining, and mind provoking. I guess I've found the best relationship in myself.

"Real talk with talking people saying real things that make me think too real" ~ Mr. Boobby

"To fall in love is easy. To fall out of love is hard. So leave unrequited love behind. live on and love on to new love. ~Mr. Bobby"

"Her eyes dug through me as if searching for answers for questions I've never been asked. Pulling subtle movements as replies to her little spies."

"Disappear in a cloud of smoke don't choke. It's life full of strife. All that fake all that break. All that mental shake. Take away this steak through my heart. Take away this garlic around your hug . It's fare this stare you glare with that you won't forgive or look past. Closed ears and drink more beers because this isn't being near. I get it . I've seen it, I've dreamt it , I've lived it, I hate it. Why is it? But it is..... Always"

"Slowly I disappear as if i never existed,
never created.
i disappear from the lack of fight.
you push me down and make me hide.
i don't know how to return to what i once was.
i just wait for you to make the decision.
you don't understand that your actions alter mine.
i wait.
I cannot be the one with hate.
for that maybe the the reason you have been here for so long no matter what you have done.
if you truely knew how to be a friend maybe it didn't have to be the end."

"lonely is this heart that yearns for its blood. pump pump but its done done. Kalima! take my life out like a flood."

"I might be a bitch but your a mega bitch and that is worse because i put mega in it. haha dun dun dun..... You are Godzilla wrecking everything in front of it. I am Mothra, bitches worship me" ~Mr. Bobby

"why do mexicans love KORN? mmmmmm....... corn......"  ~Mr. Bobby

"Tank = Fish Sticks" ~Mr. Bobby

"I dreamt of snow and deader things.
No leaves no greens of none i see.
colors only dull and drear.
of mysteries none here nor there.
I search for queens and fallen kings,
but empty seats are left for me.
An end to this are none i fear,
just miles of empty room to stare."
~Mr. Bobby

"your pictures drop knives down my throat cutting my heart in two" ~Mr. Bobby

"start living in your own filth and you will know how low you have gone" ~Mr. Bobby

"you can read the title and never know the story" ~Mr. Bobby

"Friendship life savers spill into open mouth sea. Chomp, chomp. Bites bites" ~Mr. Bobby

"Life smashes your face into concrete truths. Bleed for me bitch bleed for me" ~Mr. Bobby

"i'm like a empty battery i need to be recharged with positive energy" ~Mr. Bobby

"Revolving shouts repeating stains. Internal bouts impeding gains" ~Mr. Bobby

" lets spit out our emotional discharge! Fuck bars and walls we build to sound sane. Destroy to create our selves and present truths." ~Mr. Bobby

"live what you love, love what you live" ~Mr. Bobby

"i fight my inner most feelings with feather swords and non-existent shields. stay away heart beast! your flames will not reach me. I am strong. I've beat you down over and over. I will not give up!" ~Mr. Bobby

"so near to the edge i just might break. there's no mistake I've had all i can take. tick tock sick of this shock. never knew this much hate but now its way to late." ~Mr. Bobby

"why do ghosts haunt with chains of love" ~Mr. Bobby

"you put my heart into a snoopy waffle maker" ~Mr. Bobby

"i break down. i let walls fall. where did i place that brick. where did all the cement go. your supposed to see this billboard child but instead you see beyond. they call me bob the builder because i'm always building this wall every time it falls :(" ~Mr. Bobby

"q: what does the cashier say to the baldman. a: you have topay" ~Mr. Bobby

"you were a momentary brain cork but now dislodged the aged wine pores. gushing all those perfect moments while leaving the regret stuck to the bottom of my bottle. perhaps cutting off the crust would empty me/bottle for new (sparkling wine) lol ~Mr. Bobby

"I've donated years of clothes and books that occupied my residence with no remorse. they may have deserved a spiritual burning but never waste what can be used by those who are lost and naked. Their absence leave fields of open space ready for beautiful ideas, inspirational people, creative moments in time, and a numerous possibilities of adventures and stories that stay in this camp. all this yearning for goals reached and explosion of being can finally be accomplished. No more i want, i wish, i need, i loved, i was, i could have; I will now or I am fake to myself."

The Real Blog Begins.

Monday, March 30th 2020

i decided to delete the past blog again. start from scratch. you can't make someone want to be friends, in a relationship, pay you money they promised you, pay you rent they know they haven't paid but you don't have proof so can't back anything up just keep it inside and be mad and hurt. I swear this year is the year or hard lessons. the year of being quarantined like in a fucking horror movie. scared to get sick and hurt others by being irresponsible. the most perfect weapon against those who care and want to help everyone. empath impact smack.

I thought i found a new girl to like lol! it started so awesome and then poof she pulled away just like nothing. can't control anything but your own actions. don't trust anyone to a degree, don't let anyone in to a degree, don't chase anyone if they don't care to reach out to you. biggest lesson of them all. just because you care and reach out just because you care doesn't mean others will.

what the fuck is going on with life. like nothing honestly even matters anymore. nothing else matters. cuz fuck we are getting our rights, our freedom, our lives all taken away. people are dying or are they? i haven't seen anyone but friends are starting to have friends who are dying. so it freaks me out. the not knowing the not knowing if we have something the not knowing how close its going to get. the countries also going through the same thing. the whole damn planet. but did they not just meet up and plan all this? to release a virus to kill off some of the human race? does anything else fucking matter anymore? does love, does music, yes music does because at least that will keep me sane and feel like there is at least one thing that is worth living for.

i really wanted something to work with this other person. she likes the same music i do, she is a great talented amazing person. she wants to be a dj so yes i'm going to push that and support and i know it will be taken advantage of because thats just me and i want to give so ultimately am i being taken advantage of? no i'm giving. they aren't asking but will def accept it. i fall for dj girls. all the time. because they are musical because they want to make music too because maybe thats what i want in myself but was to scared to do for my own. have to start loving myself like i start to like others. I have to do it for myself especially now since i can't even really work. i'm jobless. that was always the main reason for me not being able to do anything. its time. and i can't not do anything now cuz i have nothing to blame. yeah sing about purple and h and all the girls who made me feel for at least a little bit and then hid away because i was too much. thats why i hold back so much with this girl i like right now. but then since she is pulling away and now i'm pulling away i feel like she doesn't like me even though we both fucking said we like each other? what the fuck is that? both broken both pulling away. she dealt with a relationship where her lover left her while a friend was dying. thats what happened to me. i can relate but if i relate will she pull away even more? because of people involved? this just means i'm not ready even though i want to be and especially with this girl. but now we have fucking the corona virus keeping us all away for a month. is it worth getting close to someone and not being able to see them? i'm used to being alone but am I used to being alone this long?

this is the weirdest fucking time in history. what the fuck do we do? i want to stand up and march and riot but we can't because we are witheld by a virus. because our actions can impact someone else's lives in a bad way. its the perfect way to take away power from people unless we rise and we can't rise! we can't hurt anyone. its ok to hurt yourself but its not ok to hurt others with your actions. I hate this i hate this. kiss me, hug me, hold me we don't need sex if thats not what you want because thats not important to me. you posted you like someone who says they know the music you like so thats not me.... lol... thats what i like about her. she knows a lot of music i don't but i like! thats the biggest turn on so if she likes someone then pull away even more. she isn't randomly messaging you like you do to her. so she don't like you anymore. just look at all the girls who message you because they like you and you don't respond. because your not interested. thats you to her. she isn't interested. so stop. save yourself the tears and worry about making music stuck at home. you're lucky you have a home. you're lucky you have this place to sit down right now and write this all down. what the fuck is going on in this life. i'll leave it here. because I just don't know and all i can do is just wait to see what happens. I like someone!!! but they don't like me so you better start to like yourself. make fucking music you idiot. put it into lyrics and sound again. thats what you need to do. be proud of yourself again. lets do this! take a break from working. to pay for rent. hina just saved you from busting your ass to make too much.


this past is in the past. forgive and let go.